My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize