I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
