What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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