at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
