I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
