Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
