I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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