I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
