I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize