There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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