i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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