I'm gonna have a badass scar
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
