butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you would pick up someone in the library
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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