My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
