if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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