Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
