But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
