dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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