so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
