I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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