Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
