my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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