Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
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well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
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That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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