god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
