you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
