I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
MIDGETS
????
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I have post one night stand depression
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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