I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
