Whod you bang
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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