You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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