I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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