my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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