I think my vagina is haunted
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
