Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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