Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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