spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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