Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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