Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
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Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
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Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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