dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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