and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Someone shattered a urinal.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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