btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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