it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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