It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
