this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
