I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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