dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
