He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
