I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
