chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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