Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
