I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
