So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
