i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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