5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
