I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
