found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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