yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
