if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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