his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
