I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
