just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
this hospital has no fireball
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
